Friday, July 17, 2009

I learn the most fascinating things while sitting on the Porcelain Throne

I think I have mentioned before that I always have to be reading something.  When I am sitting in my car waiting to pick up a child, I'm reading.  When I am eating breakfast or lunch, I am reading.  When I am taking a potty break- I must read something.  Anything.  If a magazine is not within reach, I will read the labels on shampoo or lotion bottles.  It's fascinating stuff.

My favorite read while visiting the commode is hands down, the Reader's Digest.  Something about a quick read does my bowels good.  There is nothing better than reading some person's harrowing near death experience while doing my bizness.  

This has been my practice since I could read.  My parents always kept a Reader's Digest in the bathroom- and they bought me my first subscription when I married and moved in to my first apartment.   And a marvelous new purse size magazine has appeared in my mailbox ever since. (I have noticed that my sisters each have their RD magazines in their bathrooms as well.)

Yesterday, as I was sitting on my 'throne', I read some amazing things that I wanted to share.  Fascinating stuff really. 

For years I have worried about dumping even the slightest amount of grease down my kitchen drain.  When I do, I turn on the hottest water I possibly can, thinking that it will keep it in liquid form so that it won't clog my drains.  WRONG!  I learned from my reading, that if you rinse grease residue down with cold water, it solidifies the grease so it floats down the pipes harmlessly.  If you send it on it's way with hot water, it will eventually clump up as it reaches pipes that are cooler and overtime will clog them up.

I also learned that you can flash dry your dishes by opening up the door as soon as the washer turns off.  It's the time when your dishes are the hottest so the water will evaporate quickly.  Cool huh?

Ok, here's one more.  Did you know that honey really does speed healing?  I learned that mild to moderate burns heal faster when you spread honey on them.  Hmmm.  I wonder if honey would have helped my 2nd degree burns I got from the sun in Cancun?  Now I can't wait to get another burn to try this one out!!

Isn't this great stuff?  I have learned so many things- how to teach a cat a handshake, how to look good in photos, how to get a live person on the phone (when you are trying to reach a customer service rep.)  Did you know that if you press every button on the phone, swear, speak Spanish, or do nothing at all, that you will often get put at the front of the line?  Such wisdom!

And that my friends, is why I don't waste a minute of my time just sitting.  Just think of all the helpful tips and great advice I would miss out if I didn't take the time to read.

Here's to many more happy hours of sitting on the pot!  Happy reading.


  1. Thank you for pooping; it's helped me immensely!

    P.S. I always run hot water after grease goes down the drain! No more, though!

  2. Now this is funny stuff. Very entertaining!